Long Overdue Updates

Sorry that I have been MIA lately. Not only have I neglected my blog, but I also have not had time to read anyone's posts. I'll try to get to them this weekend, but time has totally gotten away from me as I prepare for another school year and spend every second that I can with Colten before the official start to the year. Technically I guess we already started; we had two teacher report days this past week, so Colten spent those days with my mom just as he will all year. Both Colten and my mom were just fine, but I cried both days, when I left (sad tears) and when I returned (happy tears). I'm sure that it will get easier, but I have such a difficult time being away from him; however, I have to admit that I am excited about the upcoming school year, too! The teacher days put me in school mode again, and it was so great to see my colleagues. School officially begins on Monday, and I'm sure that I will cry that morning as well. But I'm excited to meet my new students, too! I'll keep you posted. Right now my biggest source of anxiety is that I don't have a routine, and I'm not sure how I will ever get any schoolwork done at home. The teacher report days only reinforced this. I woke up at 4:50am, got ready for school and headed out for the day. By 3-3:30 I was home and feeding Colten. Then we played and ate dinner (thanks to my mom!). By this time, Colten was ready for his nighttime routine (a bath, dinner, and sleep). So by 7:30-8pm, I was working out and then packed the lunches and got everything ready for the next day. Needless to say, I went to bed after that. So my question remains: how will I ever fit schoolwork in to that schedule??? That completely stresses me out! I know that millions of other mothers have figured it out, so I guess I will too; I just hope that it is sooner rather than later.

Okay - enough of me stressing and complaining. Let's talk about Colten. . . He's had lots of firsts since my last post including eating squash (we are on to carrots on Saturday), eating in his highchair, riding in his stroller without the carrier, and CRAWLING! As you guys know, I was so worried that I would miss the first time that he crawled, but I didn't! He crawled for the first time on Thursday, August 27th, but he waited for me to come home from school. After I was done feeding him, we were playing on the floor. I moved across the room and called for him to come to me. Usually, he would try to crawl but then fall. This time he made it the whole way!!! And my mom swears that he didn't do that earlier in the day so I believe her. It meant so much to me to see him reach this milestone. So maybe those of you were right who said that I wouldn't miss anything even once I returned to work : >

Enjoy the pictures that follow!

Colten's first meal in his highchair (08-20-2009)

A family walk and Colten's first time sitting in his stroller like a big boy! (08-23-2009)

Colten crawling over to check out Lady's toy (08-28-2009)

Posing for Mommy!

Time to drop the crib mattress! (08-28-2009)
Colten loves to peek over the crib to see what Mommy is doing - pumping!Almost sitting up! (08-28-2009)

Go Green!

Colten is eating vegetables! On Sunday, August 9th we started him on green beans. After making some "what the heck is this" faces and after letting it run out of his mouth, Colten finally enjoyed himself. Now after six days of green beans, we just started peas. So far he seems to be enjoying the peas even more. He ate them so willingly; I was surprised but happily : > After this we are off to the yellow veggies like squash, carrots, and sweet potatoes. I read that too much yellow can cause a baby's skin to have an orange tint. Is this true? How do you avoid it? Should I alternate yellow with beans or peas? As usual, I welcome your tried and true advice : >


Yay! Colten turned 5 months old on Friday! I can't believe how quickly time is going and how much Colten has grown both physically and developmentally in just a short time. In fact, he is soooo close to crawling too. I'll keep you posted. Right now he can only support himself for a short distance. I hope I get to see him scooting around before I head back to school. Anyway, to celebrate his 5 month birthday, Colten shopped with Mommy and Grandma at the mall and Target. The photo below shows us before our day on the town.

And now for my million dollar question. . . (any and all advice is welcome and needed)! Why won't Colten sleep???? Don't get me wrong, he is sleeping somewhat, and he is in his crib; but he does not sleep for sustained periods of time, even at night. I know that you are supposed to do something different at night than during the day so babies know that they are not just going down for a nap (even though he barely naps too - but that's another issue), and I do this. Every night Colten gets his bath, I feed him (breast milk, veggies, breast milk), and then I put him to sleep. This goes better some nights than others, but for the most part it goes well, and he is asleep between 7:30-8:00 pm. For a while, he was sleeping until about midnight. Then I would feed him and put him back down until between 6-7 am. This was heaven, but it only lasted a few days. Now I have two problems -
#1. Colten wakes up by 10pm to eat, then again around 3, and again by 6 or 7. I have tried to simply put him back to bed, but he won't stop crying until he eats. Can he really be that hungry? How will this work once school starts? (especially because...see #2)
#2. After the middle of the night feedings, Colten will not go back to sleep. He is often up for about 2 hours after each feeding, meaning I am up too. I'm not always in his room, but I am still not sleeping as he plays and/or cries causing me to make multiple trips back to his room to reposition him, to give him his pacifier, to clean spit-up, to sooth him. . .

So if anyone has any advice for either problem or even just words of encouragement if you already went through it, I'd appreciate the help and/or support. I just don't know why he seems to have reverted when it appeared that we were making such good progress.

I'll end with a moment of reflection - Tom's buddy Joe stopped by the other day and while holding Colten asked us, "So is having a baby as hard as everyone says it is?" Simultaneously I replied "yes" while Tom said "no." WHAT!?! (It turned out that we interpreted the question differently, but it gave me something to think about).

In some ways it is not "hard." By that I mean that the love we have for Colten transcends all love, making everything, even the hardest of days, worth it. Colten is easy to love and has even strengthened the bond that Tom and I share in ways I never thought possible. And in some ways, parenting is not "hard." By this I mean that although I do not claim to really know what I am doing, a lot has come more naturally than I expected. One of my biggest worries when I was pregnant was that I just wouldn't know what to do and that I wouldn't have those motherly inclinations. But I do. . . at least sometimes : > As you can tell from issues with Colten's sleeping (or lack thereof), I don't always know what to do, but I do know that I am doing the best I can. Colten is happy and loved and growing everyday in ways I could never imagine.

But to answer Joe's question truthfully, yes, having a baby is hard - the best kind of hard but hard nevertheless. Those sleepless nights, those cries that seem to never end, the loss of "me time", the redefining of a relationship that once only included two people, the chores that never end and often go undone. . .But then Colten smiles at me, reaches for my hand, squeals in delight as I kiss his belly, peacefully rests (even if it is just for 20 minutes), accomplishes another first, or simply nurses at my breast and I melt. So while there is so much that is hard about being a parent, there is even more joy.

Getting the Itch?

With Christine's new arrival (congrats to you by the way!), my cousin Michele's baby shower this past week, and Krissy's shower coming up in a few weeks, I am feeling the itch for another baby : > I know what you are probably thinking - 'you have a baby.' I know, I know, and don't worry I would not be able to handle another right now so Tom and I are sticking to the plan and will start trying again next summer. Until then, let me reminisce. After reading Christine's labor stories, I feel compelled to share mine, especially since I wasn't blogging at the time. So if you are interested or curious, read on. . .

Even though I wasn't due until March 31st, I had a feeling that I would deliver early and even predicted that it would be the 17th. To my surprise, it was even sooner! I prayed and prayed not to have Colten on March 13th since it was a Friday - a bit superstitious I know but I couldn't help it. Colten held off to make me happy but barely. The night of the 13th, I was up every hour going to the bathroom (not much of a change from my usual 2 hour potty call but still different). Then at 4:12 am on the 14th (actually 30 minutes earlier since my clock is fast), I was awakened by a popping feeling down below - something different than a kick. Thinking of Cara's story, I jumped up and headed for the bathroom, wondering if my water was breaking. After going to the bathroom, I figured that everything was still in tact, that is until I was washing my hands and felt something wet running down my leg. "Had I not finished peeing?" I tried again and then headed back to bed. Within a few minutes, I could feel wetness again and knew then that it was not pee, but so far I hadn't felt any contractions so I put on a pad and waited. Tom had fallen asleep on the basement coach so I yelled down to him. At this point I still wasn't sure if this "was it" but I wanted Tom close. Tom came flying up the stairs and was ready to leave before I was even sure if I was in labor, but by this time, I started having contractions too ranging anywhere from 5-7 minutes apart. Still, I didn't want to be the one to go to the hospital only to return home babyless. So I headed for the shower, unaware of what Tom was doing until he rushed into the bathroom announcing, "I called your parents and the car is running so we are ready to go!" to which I promptly replied "What!? Go shut the car off; I'm still in the shower and need to call the doctor."
By the time I was done showering, I was pretty sure this "was it" so I called Dr. Canby and she told me to eat something light and then head to the hospital. So I had one last PB & J sandwich, we finished packing the bag, we got Lady ready and headed to my mom and dad's to drop her off before driving to Northside Hospital. By this time, my contractions were about 3 minutes apart and were getting much more intense. After running a few red lights (not my idea), we were there, probably around 6am.
At first the nurses were skeptical and thought I was only having Braxton Hicks contractions (believe me, I knew the difference and these were nothing like those). But they put me in a room so a doctor could check me and with that, my water completely broke - what a strange feeling - and the doctor reported that I was already 4cm. This was it!
I soon found myself in a labor and delivery room hooked up to all the monitors. My contractions intensified so quickly and were coming so rapidly; I wanted my epidural now! But I had to wait for my blood work and for one bag of antibiotics to get though my IV. So many women fear the epidural, but I welcomed it and don't remember it hurting a bit. The hardest part was staying still while they inserted it even though I was having major contractions. But I was more than pleased with the result; I could still feel every contraction, but now they were bearable. The only drawback - labor slowed quite a bit. I was 6cm when I received the epidural but then I had to get Pitocin to help labor progress again. So with the epidural the whole process probably took a bit longer, but I'd never change it. Instead of suffering in unbearable pain, I chatted with Tom, his dad, and my parents while trying out lots of different labor positions.
Around 1:45 I started feeling really nauseous and wondered if my blood sugar was low. When I asked the nurse, she said that some women feel that way when they are ready to push and sure enough, I was ready to go!
With Tom holding one leg and a nurse the other, I began pushing at about 2pm and heard "It's a boy!" at 2:20pm! Colten arrived and I was now a mom, officially. I always thought that it was gross to hold a baby after it first comes out, but I really changed my mind quickly when they placed Colten on my chest. I only held him for a moment before they whisked him off to clean him up and take his measurements but I loved every second and already couldn't wait to have him back in my arms. And that's where he was a few moments later so we could begin our bonding by nursing. Our lives changed in that instant, and I have never felt more complete. Everyone says it, but it is so true: there is no love like the love you have for your child. I love you so much, Colten. You truly are my world.
In almost 5 months, Colten has grown in so many ways, but here are a few early photos.
Literally, right after birth - being weighed.

The first time Tom held Colten.One of my favorite early photos.

The Countdown. . .22 days

I usually love countdowns - the days until Christmas, until summer break, until a long-awaited getaway, etc. - but I dread this countdown. . . the days until the start of school. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching and could not imagine having any other job (except being a stay-at-home mom). Logically I know that I still have almost a month but I can't help my heart from racing and the tears from flowing every time I think of going back to school or rather leaving Colten, and let me tell you I think of it A LOT. As if I don't already get too little sleep, I find myself tossing and turning with my heart beating so quickly when I finally am in bed. What time will I have to get up in order to get to school on time? How will I get the lunches packed, feed Colten, and find time to look presentable? How will I ever get papers graded? When will I have time to workout? How many bottles will Colten need during the day? Will I be able to pump enough? Will my school schedule work with pumping? What will I miss of Colten's firsts? I could keep going, but I will spare you...
Again, logically I know that I am blessed to have my mom. Colten will be in the best possible care at Grandmas and I am by no means nervous about leaving him with my mom. Her love for Colten is unparalleled, and I have no doubt that he will be just fine and perfectly happy. It's me that I'm worried about. After being with Colten continuously for five months, I cannot imagine dropping him off; my heart is breaking just typing this because it seems so real and so immediate. Hopefully I can find some peace and quickly so that I can relax and enjoy the last few weeks of summer. . . I'm just not sure how to do this. So until then, let the anxiety continue.

If you endured my venting, now enjoy some new photos of Colten!

Colten playing at Grandma and Grandpa's house while Daddy painted our basement.


Playing with the plane Daddy gave Colten after his trip to the United States Airforce National Museum.

"I'm so cute; no wonder Mommy doesn't want to leave me!"