I usually love countdowns - the days until Christmas, until summer break, until a long-awaited getaway, etc. - but I dread this countdown. . . the days until the start of school. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching and could not imagine having any other job (except being a stay-at-home mom). Logically I know that I still have almost a month but I can't help my heart from racing and the tears from flowing every time I think of going back to school or rather leaving Colten, and let me tell you I think of it A LOT. As if I don't already get too little sleep, I find myself tossing and turning with my heart beating so quickly when I finally am in bed.
What time will I have to get up in order to get to school on time? How will I get the lunches packed, feed Colten, and find time to look presentable? How will I ever get papers graded? When will I have time to workout? How many bottles will Colten need during the day? Will I be able to pump enough? Will my school schedule work with pumping? What will I miss of Colten's firsts? I could keep going, but I will spare you...
Again, logically I know that I am blessed to have my mom. Colten will be in the best possible care at Grandmas and I am by no means nervous about leaving him with my mom. Her love for Colten is unparalleled, and I have no doubt that he will be just fine and perfectly happy. It's me that I'm worried about. After being with Colten continuously for five months, I cannot imagine dropping him off; my heart is breaking just typing this because it seems so real and so immediate. Hopefully I can find some peace and quickly so that I can relax and enjoy the last few weeks of summer. . . I'm just not sure how to do this. So until then, let the anxiety continue.
If you endured my venting, now enjoy some new photos of Colten!
Colten playing at Grandma and Grandpa's house while Daddy painted our basement.
Playing with the plane Daddy gave Colten after his trip to the United States Airforce National Museum.
"I'm so cute; no wonder Mommy doesn't want to leave me!"
Colten playing at Grandma and Grandpa's house while Daddy painted our basement.
Playing with the plane Daddy gave Colten after his trip to the United States Airforce National Museum.
"I'm so cute; no wonder Mommy doesn't want to leave me!"
Cindy, Colten gets more adorable every time I see him!! I simply cannot wait to meet him! I hope that your anxiety gets better so you can be a little excited to go back to school-I know they miss you there and can't wait to hear all about Colten:) If you need to talk, you just give me a call-I know all about the anxiety of leaving you baby (I still haven't mastered it and I'm on baby #2)!!
ReplyDeleteWe missed you so much this weekend. In fact, when they left, Artie couldn't stop talking about how much we love when the 6 of us are together-it's just the easiest, most comfortable thing in the world and I so wish that we all lived in the same darn city because I really miss my best friends.
I love you so much, and I am thinking about you in these last few weeks:) Give your boys hugs for us! xo
Hang in there Cindy- I worked with both Luke and Drew- granted it was three days a week.... but I did come to enjoy my time away- which sounds bad, but it was nice to be known as Meghan sometimes and use my adult brain:) It is really hard to leave them- even with Drew I cried although I used the same sitter with both the boys- there I was on the first day back calling Jill to make sure Drew was ok. Funny enough I never missed any firsts- I think kids know to wait until that perfect moment on the evening or weekend to show off their skills.....
ReplyDeleteI hope enjoy these next 22 days.
and you really do become more organized with working- you will find a schedule etc....
best of luck!!:)
Ahhhh he is soooo cute!!!! I love that last pic, he is just adorable. I'm glad motherhood and you are doing so well. It is an awesome time with Colten and you seem to be enjoying it to its fullest. He looks very happy!
ReplyDeleteAs far as school goes, I can tell you to relax over and over, but it will do no good. You will see, however, that Colten will be fine and so will you. I don't think I have ever missed a first with Sawyer, so please don't dwell on things that may not happen. Don't forget, we are blessed to have a great schedule! And if you do early duty, which in the past I know you never did but probably should have since you are there when the sun comes up, then you will be home way before 3pm! Thats a great schedule!
And after school starts and you all get settled in a routine, all of this agonizing will be forgotten! Enjoy the rest of your summer with your beautiful boy and remember, next summer will be here before you know it!!
Love ya girl!
I can't imagine what you're going through, but I'm sure it's the most difficult thing in the world. You are the most organized person I have ever met. I know that you'll manage to juggle everything beautifully. I also totally agree with Megs, Colten will wait for all of his firsts for when you're there. You're his mom and you have shared so much already. I'm sure that in his own way he realizes how much it'd mean for you to be there for all of his firsts.
ReplyDeleteWe did miss you this weekend!!! It was so much fun but incomplete without you, Tom and Colten there. Let's try to make our next get together the 9 of us!!! :)
Love,
Beth